[simon.exe is processing... most likely probability??? is that someone would just try to hit him, especially... considering his behavior
Akira may notice the way his forehead creases beneath those unkempt bangs, not wrought with fright or disgust. Just confusion.]
Okay.
[Love, affection, desire... All these things are won. Much like battles and all the military campaigns he's gone on to idealize, for someone to pay attention to you, you must put in years of hard work, and in Simon's case, he's still waiting to cash in on that particular investment. Grace does not look upon him in the same way he does her, and for good reason- They have never been equals, not once, and their future shows that very clearly.]
[Akira watches him process, watches him disbelieve. At least he's pretty openly honest with emotion. That's new and refreshing. That's different.]
[He pulls his phone out of his back pocket.]
I messaged you on a dating app, Simon.
[He pulls up his contact and flicks his wrist, spinning his phone and turning it outward for Simon to see.] I'm definitely more the type to be friends before anything else, but, gotta start somewhere, yeah?
[Simon stands there like an idiot, one hand curling into a fist that remains cemented to his side. Any normal person would have already made the connection. After all, that was the whole point. He wasn't even entirely sure that he'd get any hits in the first place, not without showing off that he could best a null twice his size in combat or scale a wall in record time. This whole situation had been the result of quite a bit of coaxing.]
No! You weren't, you couldn't be...!
[To any bystander, Simon's behavior appears nonsensical and erratic. Why, not too long ago, their conversation had been entirely civil. It would be easier, in fact, for the blond to just call it quits and sit down. Unfortunately he opts to stay in the emotional tornado of his own creation, confused by the very idea that anyone new would want him at all-]
I'm leaving.
[And of course, just like every other time...]
I can't be here anymore.
[He's ruined any chance of happiness for himself by his own hand.]
[There's so much familiarity in this, except Simon acts younger. He's still yearning for friendship under his mask of being hateful, in enough of a way that Akira can hear it in how he spits his denial.]
[He reaches out, regardless of Simon's obvious upset, moves close to him, ushers him out of the cafe whether it requires touching him or if he just moves to evade contact.]
You'll have to tell me what's my fault, but I think we both know nobody's done anything wrong, here.
[He acts younger because, not only has he never really been forced to grow, but because he has done everything but confront his problems, constantly running in the opposite direction. He blames Akira when this is yet another misstep of his own, shying away from any attempt at touch much like a wounded animal would, only to move backwards and envelop himself in his own arms.]
[It's Simon who is at fault, as usual. Yet he still turns the blame outwards somehow, without fail.]
This was such a dumb idea. How did I let Grace talk me into this?
[um
bc like... that's???? ur entire life? simon ratfinkius laurent
Perhaps there was something. A glimmer of hope and maybe the notion that somebody, somewhere would want him.]
You've wasted my time.
[It would be nice to be admired, desired...]
I should be findin' a way back to the train.
[But truth be told, it's not as if Simon truly believes he's worthy of those things, not in his heart. No matter how loudly and bitterly he insists that he is right, that his insatiable demands are worth fulfilling, he is constantly haunted by the idea that perhaps Samantha was right to leave him behind.]
[He lapses back into quiet, because Simon has shown he's the sort to say quite a lot in short bursts. There's a particular finality to what he deems his last word, and Akira waits to hear it before he leans forward like he's considering stepping toward him again.]
Sorry, for wasting your time. I can walk you to the station? [Because he doesn't understand that Simon doesn't just mean a train. He leaves the mentions of Grace and calling Japan a sorry dump alone, filing the name away for later and not entirely sure he's understanding what he means by "this sorry dump"-- surely a guy in Japan wouldn't call the entire country that. Right?]
[Well, no, from what very little of Simon he's come to understand, he very much might. But it's still safer to not comment on it.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2021-06-14 03:58 am (UTC)You're hitting on me?
[simon.exe is processing... most likely probability??? is that someone would just try to hit him, especially... considering his behavior
Akira may notice the way his forehead creases beneath those unkempt bangs, not wrought with fright or disgust. Just confusion.]
Okay.
[Love, affection, desire... All these things are won. Much like battles and all the military campaigns he's gone on to idealize, for someone to pay attention to you, you must put in years of hard work, and in Simon's case, he's still waiting to cash in on that particular investment. Grace does not look upon him in the same way he does her, and for good reason- They have never been equals, not once, and their future shows that very clearly.]
no subject
Date: 2021-06-14 04:03 am (UTC)[He pulls his phone out of his back pocket.]
I messaged you on a dating app, Simon.
[He pulls up his contact and flicks his wrist, spinning his phone and turning it outward for Simon to see.] I'm definitely more the type to be friends before anything else, but, gotta start somewhere, yeah?
no subject
Date: 2021-06-14 06:36 am (UTC)No! You weren't, you couldn't be...!
[To any bystander, Simon's behavior appears nonsensical and erratic. Why, not too long ago, their conversation had been entirely civil. It would be easier, in fact, for the blond to just call it quits and sit down. Unfortunately he opts to stay in the emotional tornado of his own creation, confused by the very idea that anyone new would want him at all-]
I'm leaving.
[And of course, just like every other time...]
I can't be here anymore.
[He's ruined any chance of happiness for himself by his own hand.]
This is your fault!
[no um
simon it's yours
anyway]
no subject
Date: 2021-06-15 01:42 am (UTC)[He reaches out, regardless of Simon's obvious upset, moves close to him, ushers him out of the cafe whether it requires touching him or if he just moves to evade contact.]
You'll have to tell me what's my fault, but I think we both know nobody's done anything wrong, here.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-15 01:56 am (UTC)Why did you message me?
Of all people.
[Angry as he is, he would like to know.]
What was it that-
[A growl.]
Ugh!
no subject
Date: 2021-06-15 02:06 am (UTC)I told you already-- I like reading, and you were asking if somebody wanted to read your novel.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-26 06:23 am (UTC)[It's Simon who is at fault, as usual. Yet he still turns the blame outwards somehow, without fail.]
This was such a dumb idea. How did I let Grace talk me into this?
[um
bc like... that's???? ur entire life? simon ratfinkius laurent
Perhaps there was something. A glimmer of hope and maybe the notion that somebody, somewhere would want him.]
You've wasted my time.
[It would be nice to be admired, desired...]
I should be findin' a way back to the train.
[But truth be told, it's not as if Simon truly believes he's worthy of those things, not in his heart. No matter how loudly and bitterly he insists that he is right, that his insatiable demands are worth fulfilling, he is constantly haunted by the idea that perhaps Samantha was right to leave him behind.]
I hate this sorry dump anyway.
[did... don't say that about japan??? nO
it can be misintERPRETED WHITE MAN]
no subject
Date: 2021-06-29 06:52 pm (UTC)Sorry, for wasting your time. I can walk you to the station? [Because he doesn't understand that Simon doesn't just mean a train. He leaves the mentions of Grace and calling Japan a sorry dump alone, filing the name away for later and not entirely sure he's understanding what he means by "this sorry dump"-- surely a guy in Japan wouldn't call the entire country that. Right?]
[Well, no, from what very little of Simon he's come to understand, he very much might. But it's still safer to not comment on it.]