SIMON LAURENT; OPEN POST

[relationshits]

Comments

[herocomplex]

✔

sure thing dude brah
like are there wizards n shit in it???

OH HERE WE GO...

[incelligent]

Why yes indeed, my good sir!

[RIP, SLIMY FOOL

i really hate... ugh he is being disgusting and NECKBEARDY right out the gate]

But uh, spoiler alert? She's kind of the bad guy.

[herocomplex]

that’s waaaaay fine bro
just wondering

should i read it after we bang???
or before to get in da mood lolll

[incelligent]

[...Hold on just a damn minute.

Simon pours over that message several times, as if to make sure that he's reading things correctly-]

Wait, seriously?

Are you for real?

[herocomplex]

well yeah man
this is tinder right?? kind what u do

[incelligent]

Uhhhh

[Truth be told, he wasn't expecting to get any hits on this thing. From what he's heard, it's even harder for guys, and he's no Prince Charming with an 8-pack.]

But I've never

[...Would it hurt to be honest? Simon takes a peek at this guy's profile. Alfred? He's not that much older either, or so he says.]

Is that a dealbreaker for you?

1/2

[herocomplex]

lmao no way dude ive been there
everyone has been there!! like not having sex totes get it mang

rly just wanting ppl to hang out with and if they wanna get nastaaaaay hey im cool w dat too

ill be the best dick ever promise

[herocomplex]

oh autocorrect mfcker

BEST FUCK EVER***

but ig dick too i mean same principle

[incelligent]

Um, if we're bein' honest? I just kinda wanna get it over with.

[The bravado is Questionable, but hey, he wants to get physical, so. That's something.]

Couldja send me a video or somethin' so I can make sure you're not some kinda serial killer?

[herocomplex]

oooOooh shit rly man?? it’s that bad?? it’s ok DW bro
daddy alfred gonna take good care of u okay

yea ok lemme hide my shredded abs so u don’t get too jealous

_{[ America, you’re actually a little squishy. Anyway, on goes the camera. He looks .. not like a killer. Just a big dork. Kind of nice too. ]}

Haha, suuuuup.

[chemex]

you gotta sell it to me first, just saying its fantasy hardly says anything about it.

butt did he swipe right tho

[incelligent]

You can't put a price on Genius, bucko.

[jesus chRIST]

Well, that depends! Gotta see if you'd be into that kinda thing, first.

What kinds of stories are your favorite, my good man? Action? Romance? Drama?

Cause my terrible little tale's got it all.

[Oh it's Terrible alright.]

shave the chin stubble and we'll talk

[chemex]

unsure if confidence or arrogance, at this stage.

i like a little of everything, to keep it interesting.

he's holding out for a beard ok

[incelligent]

Hey! What are you supposed to be, some kinda critic?

Nobody's read it yet, but I hope it's at least half as fun to flip through as it was to write.

honey you're already 18 you better invest in some rogaine

[chemex]

nah, just a shitty teenager with occasional opinions. ;)

that's important, that you enjoyed writing it. but seriously, what's it about?

[incelligent]

[Why is that winky emoji making him feel some sort of Way rip-]

Uh, so the events of the first book take place sorta centering around the Battle of Esmoroth.

[Yes. It's a trilogy.]

Basically, the Evil Witch Samantha Kittywhiskers-

[THERE IS NOTHING SUBTLE ABOUT THAT VILLAINESS' NAME!!!]

Places a curse on the kingdom and offs all the royal folkies with her nasty witch powers. The soon-to-be Lord of Esmoroth is a lowly stable boy who is the only survivor of the atrocity, and basically he takes it upon himself to train diligently as a general and avenge his country.

[chemex]

[He is nothing if not an accidental flirt at all times, it's fine.]

samantha kittywhiskers, hm? sounds like our author isn't much of a cat person.
but it definitely sounds like a solid story. what gave you the idea for the names? esmoroth and samantha kittywhiskers, that is.

[incelligent]

If I'm gonna put pen to paper about a fantastical and far away land, I gotta give it a name to match, no?

[Ouch, ouch, ouch.

He doesn't need to know.]

And, as for the second part, let's just say it's not a good idea to trust a cat that can talk.

[Much less one that can speak French.]

[chemex]

[Funny story, Akira has one. A cat that talks, that is. Only a small handful of people can actually hear him, though, so maybe that's the difference. Though he might draw the line at Morgana picking up French.]

yeah? i'll have to take your word for it.
so are you really using a dating app to get people to read your book, or is there ulterior motive?
like, i dunno, is there some kind of sexy book club you're running behind the scenes?

hi

[interacting]

is it available in japanese?

HELLO!

[incelligent]

Oh, man.

No, sadly. The only other language I can kindasorta get to speakin' is French and uh, if I tried doin' a rough translation it would lose all the nuance.

[interacting]

ah, that's okay!
i thought that might be the case, but i wanted to try anyway.

do you think you would create a comic book adaptation in the future?
i have a friend who likes to read manga; i figure if he can't really read it, at least he can kind of understand through the artwork.

[incelligent]

Manga? Is that like a comic book or a graphic novel...?

[Look, he probably would have been all about anime if he had lived a normal life and not one on the train, okay.]

If we're talking arts and crafts, I mostly carve up miniatures and paint them myself.

I've yet to try my hand at takin' a pencil to paper, though. At least, for the sake of drawing stuff.

[interacting]

oh, yes, sorry!
it's what we refer to comic books in japan.
they come in the same genres you'd find in western comic books.

but that's really cool! i've never tried to make miniatures before.
we have some of that here too, but i mostly see people putting together and painting mechs.

pretend this isn't 800 years late

[incelligent]

Whoa! Coolio.

[the worst thing about this is that he means it 100% unironically, as if coolio is really... a cool thing to say]

Y'know, I never really did lean all that hard into comics, since I'm more into fantasy than the whole superhero thing, but hey! I've got time on my hands. Maybe I should give 'em a second go.

When you say mechs, are those, like, robots, legos, or what? 'Cause I mostly make army guys.